The Flâneur

Miscellany > Great Felicities of Chinese Imperialism

Great Felicities of Chinese Imperialism

My dear chaps and chapesses,

It has come to my attention recently, via my various contacts within the diplomatic community worldwide, that that bastion of civilised behaviour: (an indispensable organ that we have come to love and depend upon for invaluable instruction in the complex field of appropriate conduct when graced with polite society), would seem to have become somewhat proscribed as essential reading material for the masses in The Middle Kingdom by certain 'Nouvelle Falangists' of the oriental variety residing in the neighbourhood of Zhong Nan Hai: merely a stone's throw from the 'Forbidden City' itself, in the great city of Peking. This strikes myself as being peculiar. Yet, upon more considered rumination, strangely consistent.

One harks back to the days when that delightful little gentleman Mr Zhou En Lai queried why it was that a quarter of the planet's population should have been disenfranchised on the world stage at the United Nations for some twenty-five years or so back in the early seventies. Quite. It does help though to have the odd nuke packed down one's jodhpurs when approaching the negotiating table: "Power grows through the ……. etc", whatever else the Great Helmsman might have said on the subject of Paper Tigers. But curiously, at the same time, was it not he - Zhou's boss, that is - who denied knowledge of the moon landing to the people he apparently loved so much until his death? However, one must not digress overly into the dementia of such giants as the 'Chairman' himself.

In view of the current imbroglio, however, it can only be assumed that the authorities in Peking have taken umbrage at the entirely just stance that Flanuerists worldwide have adopted with respect to the predicament of their two and a half million Tibetan associates. In this regard, the plight of other inhabitants of 'The Garden of Hyacinths', who doubtless are unavailed of the requisite paperwork by which to establish any form of legitimate identity, should perhaps be mentioned:

The Mongols (with a population of some six million living in Inner Mongolia, China, alone - excluding their kin of some three million living over the border in the heartland of Mongolia itself), are both Buddhists and pastoral nomads who have had to undergo forcible settlement programmes into an arable culture quite inappropriate to both their land and traditions.

The Uighur Turks (population around nine million), who reside in Xin Jiang province, aka: Eastern Turkestan, are Muslims and have undergone appalling persecution ever since the Han Chinese managed to find themselves a replacement emperor in 1949. Actually, the history of these Turks has followed a course not unlike that of the Basques under Francisco Franco, but with massively greater casualties and cultural impact.

Murder, rape, pillage and treatment tantamount to genocide would appear to be the order of the day in these communities. And, let us not forget that these are but three of the some fifty odd so-called 'Autonomous Peoples' within the borders of The (caring, sharing and ever so bountiful) People's Republic of China. Let us also not forget that ever since the White House declared open season on 'Mad Mullahs', the bodies of Muslims belonging to the Chinese Hui people have been falling off flatbed trucks to order, with appropriately aimed bullet wounds to the back of the head, in order to feed the organ donation plants in downtown Shanghai: China being one of the planet's most populous Mohammedan states and provider of Halal body bits.

Funny old world really. The Mongols and the Turks established the current frontiers of China during the thirteenth century, giving the Han the most powerful dynasty they ever had (The Yuan) or could ever organise and manage until now: largely because the Han spent all their time bickering amongst each other, and all the thanks the barbarians get is to be slapped in the face! If it weren't so painful, it would be a joke!

Matter of fact, happened to be chatting with one of these New-Order Han export specimens just the other day, who seemed to be entirely convinced that all Turks and Mongols were Chinese. Bet they didn't say that a few hundred years ago! Roll on the Olympics!

Still awaiting the Revolution,
Yours truly,

Comrade Wang Ke.


One should add that this entire episode has been the most outrageous slur on the reputation of one of this nation's most treasured institutions: . Need I say more?

Further Reading: