Insofar as one has been made aware, Riddle has just managed to crash-land his transport (apparently one of those JU 52 thingies) in some infernal East Lothian cow pat. Now, I know exactly what you are thinking, and yes, you are doubtless quite right. Nevertheless, the poor bugger simply does not understand the principle of airspeed. I mean, what more can one do? There's even a bloody dial to show one how it all works! The problem is that he is one of those tykes that prefers to believe what he sees out of the window instead of trusting the instruments: idiot!
Anyhow, and with great fortune, I happen to have managed to get a spot of leave from my dolphin chums to fill in during this supreme cretin's absence. I sincerely hope that he will be out of plaster and able to take his Rottweiler on its constitutionals again before September comes around.
Additionally, out of respect for this whizzo chappie who is responsible for publicising this tripe on the cobweb, no illustrations are included in this month's quiz. So, here goes.
August Fairpak 2008.
MAN, SHIVA, 235, GAY, ROBERT, BOY, 239, POTSDAM, TRINITY.
Who ever can assemble the most concise, august, surreally poetic, exquisite and historically engaging paragraph, which employs all of the above-mentioned words (in the fastest possible time, of course), will be awarded the star prize for the month of August 2008. It should be added that no submissions will be accepted from any descendents of organised crime in the neighbourhood of Glasgow going by the name of Norval.
Jolly good hunting.